One of our favorite tools for Sexual Adventure Assessment — not to mention quickly learning a lot about potential compatibility — is the “Yes / No / Maybe” list.
We’ve actually turned it into a parlour game. It works magic when a room full of strangers are all staring at each other wondering, “What exactly are we up to here?”
“Yes / No / Maybe” lists started in the BDSM community. Lately, it’s been picked up by sex educators. You can find lots of examples on google, or just make your own.
The game is simple.
- Print out a copy of the list for all players, plus one extra.
- Add anything missing from the list.
- Each player individually fills out his or her own list.
- Bring the lists together and compare.
- Then, on the extra list, mark down what’s totally acceptable (everyone says, “Yes!”), what’s forbidden (anyone says, “No!”), and what’s negotiable (any combo of “Yes!” and “Maybe?”).
- Let the negotiations begin!
Burning Man / Left Behind Yes No Maybe Special Edition!
People who’ve been to Burning Man know it’s a special place. And a few years ago, we had the immense displeasure of not being able to attend the festival together.
The sexual energy at Burning Man is unique in the world. It can be a place to experiment and stretch your boundaries, a vacation from your regular life where inhibitions are checked at the Gate.
And it can cause nervousness and trepidation for both partners — attending and left behind — if you don’t have clarity on your relationship before you go. It’s worth revisiting your agreements for monogamy and non-monogamy.
We wrote for ourselves a special Burning Man / Left Behind Yes, No, Maybe List, specifically designed for when one partner is staying home.
Same rules apply as above.
If you notice any glaring ommissions or have any thoughts at all about either of these lists, please drop us a line and let us know.